prepare for ranting and whining commencing in 3...
2...
1...
falling flat. getting steamrolled. waiting in the wings. lost in the shadows.
these are all phrases that I associate with the type of person I am.
[we have lift off]
falling flat
when I feel as if I have completed a task to my self-expectations. did I forget to mention that even though they may be just-right goals for me, they don't even come close to the abilities of my peers that come oh-so-easily to them?
getting steamrolled.
now, I know some pretty passive aggressive people, but I won't name names. okay, I'll name one; jordan. I'm that girl that gets extremely angry or annoyed at someone, see's them the next day and doesn't even mention it. I suppose I've just accepted the idea internally that certain people's thoughts or ideas are above mine and they have a greater right to voice their minds then I do. I really wish I would stop forgetting that I have a voice too.
waiting in the wings.
similar to getting steamrolled. whatever. what happens when two people start talking at the same time? one person usually continues, and the other quietly backs off and listens. I'm not sure I could name a single time (unless I was hopped up on caffeine in which case I will not stop talking for any reason whatsoever) that I didn't back down. this trait gets me in heaps of trouble sometimes. I take longer to form my thoughts, perhaps because I get distracted easily, or have I'm sure a plethora of other psychological instincts that I've developed over time. it seems as though I'm always waiting for someone else to finish, so that I can begin, but sometimes, people never finish.
lost in the shadows.
this year in my spanish class, we examined the idea of having multiple selves. at home, I talk 24/7 am always voicing my opinion, loudly, and engaging in playful arguments with friends and family. in the classroom setting, especially my morning classes which are the same everyday due to a specific program that I'm in, I find it extremely difficult to step out of the shadow and into the spotlight, or microscope as it seems.
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I'm not sure what this post was really. I know it doesn't really offer new information, but for me, your blog should be a place to express your thoughts and emotions, and right now, these are my thoughts. I also recognize that there are plenty of people out there with similar thoughts, so please, comment down below how you feel.
Dear Jordan, As you will come to learn with more years, some people in life need to validate their opinions by hearing themselves talk and expressing their opinions only serves to feed their own need to drown out their own insecurities. You my dear, have been blessed with a fantastic sense of security in your own convictions and do not need to hear yourself talk to validate your ideas. This skill, along with your modesty will serve you well in life, as it allows you to actually listen to the voice and opinions of others, and not drown it out with your own noise. This openness is what adds value and necessary diversity to life and is an invaluable trait for success. Be proud of who you are and who you allow others to be around you, and most importantly do not let the loud people in your life create doubt of your worth. With a little luck, they may one day be blessed with the maturity and intelligence to realize their mistakes, but you will be well beyond needing to see that happen, as you will have already accomplished greater things then they could even imagine.
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