prepare for ranting and whining commencing in 3...
2...
1...
falling flat. getting steamrolled. waiting in the wings. lost in the shadows.
these are all phrases that I associate with the type of person I am.
[we have lift off]
falling flat
when I feel as if I have completed a task to my self-expectations. did I forget to mention that even though they may be just-right goals for me, they don't even come close to the abilities of my peers that come oh-so-easily to them?
getting steamrolled.
now, I know some pretty passive aggressive people, but I won't name names. okay, I'll name one; jordan. I'm that girl that gets extremely angry or annoyed at someone, see's them the next day and doesn't even mention it. I suppose I've just accepted the idea internally that certain people's thoughts or ideas are above mine and they have a greater right to voice their minds then I do. I really wish I would stop forgetting that I have a voice too.
waiting in the wings.
similar to getting steamrolled. whatever. what happens when two people start talking at the same time? one person usually continues, and the other quietly backs off and listens. I'm not sure I could name a single time (unless I was hopped up on caffeine in which case I will not stop talking for any reason whatsoever) that I didn't back down. this trait gets me in heaps of trouble sometimes. I take longer to form my thoughts, perhaps because I get distracted easily, or have I'm sure a plethora of other psychological instincts that I've developed over time. it seems as though I'm always waiting for someone else to finish, so that I can begin, but sometimes, people never finish.
lost in the shadows.
this year in my spanish class, we examined the idea of having multiple selves. at home, I talk 24/7 am always voicing my opinion, loudly, and engaging in playful arguments with friends and family. in the classroom setting, especially my morning classes which are the same everyday due to a specific program that I'm in, I find it extremely difficult to step out of the shadow and into the spotlight, or microscope as it seems.
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I'm not sure what this post was really. I know it doesn't really offer new information, but for me, your blog should be a place to express your thoughts and emotions, and right now, these are my thoughts. I also recognize that there are plenty of people out there with similar thoughts, so please, comment down below how you feel.
